Eat Pray Love

The other night I decided to watch a movie on Netflix and chill (hahahaha. So millennial). But seriously, I really did. I watched a movie on Netflix.

I chose the movie Eat Pray Love. Starring Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem.

I have read the book a few years ago but haven’t seen the movie. So, more or less I know the story already.

After watching that movie I got to think about my own spiritual journey. Have I grown spiritually? No.

I had a spiritual relapse when my menopausal was at it’s peak. I just stopped going to church completely. Before my relapse I used to go to church every Wednesday and every Sunday. No miss.

I grew up in a strict catholic environment. My Mom was very religious and so was my Lola Anas (Mom of my Dad). The 2 women who shaped me. My Mom would bring all of us (8 children) to church every Sunday. But when I got older (college years) I didn’t like going to church anymore. But I was forced to ‘cos my Mom would go crazy on us if we don’t go.

But eventually when I had kids already (even if my Mom was not around to force me to go to church) I would hear mass on my own with no one forcing me.

Some of my life changing revelations happened in church. During the darkest time of my life I would go to church, sit there for hours and cry.

When I stopped going to church (maybe 2 years ago) I would justify it by saying “for as long as I did not kill anyone, I did not steal, I did not fool people, I treat people well, I think I’m okay with God.

All these years that I stopped going to church I had (sort of) a “spiritual idol.”Β My friend JSP.

I haven’t seen anyone who takes going to church seriously. Snow storm or heat wave (he’s from New York) he would “walk” to church. No matter how drunk he was the night before or how how late he stayed out Saturday night, by 9:00am he was in church.

He had all the reasons not to go to church that I am sure God will understand.

I had no reason.

If I don’t like the color of my lipstick, I won’t go to church anymore. I have nothing to wear. I have a head ache. I have stomach ache. I have all the random excuses.

I don’t even have to walk to church. I have a driver that drives me to church that is 5 minutes away from my house.

He kept on convincing me to go back to church. But I told him not to force me. I will go back on my own time. So, he gave up.

He continued to go to church. And I could see how different he is from me. Not that he has a good life, not that he has a comfortable life, not that he has everything he ever wanted. It was nothing material. He was at peace. He was full of hope. He is a happy person.

And I wanted that. All that.

Just last Sunday I decided to go back to church. While dressing up I was already thinking of excuses not to go. Suddenly I didn’t feel well. But I forced myself.

Today I went to church again.

I’ll take it slowly and I’ll take it from here.

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20 comments

  • Miss Tina,
    You’ll always have a home with God.
    You were never lost, He’s always had you I his wings.

    I am happy to have read this post. Brightened me up and idolized you even more.

    • Hi, Med!

      The palazzo pants I got in Forever 21 only! Very nice light material. Try to check if it’s still available. I got this a few months ago pa. The top is just Hanes t shirt.

      Thanks!

  • I’m happy for you, Ms. Tina! God is always ready to welcome back each and every one of us. Have a nice day. =)

  • Hi, Ms. Tina. This post is timely for me. I also have tamad days and justify it that if I’m not doing bad things to other people that’s okay. Sometimes kasi, some inconsiderate people at church annoy me, nakakasira ng solemnity ng mass. Like you, I grew up with a strict and religious mom and lolas and since our house is near the church I have no excuse not to go. But now that I’m an adult and a mother too, I would like to instill the same to my child. Lalo pa she was born via emergency CS on Mama Mary ‘s bday. My mom said that’s the least we could do bec she saved our lives.

    Anyway, a very belated happy birthday to you!

    Thank you for keeping us inspired and entertained. ☺

  • Hi Ms T! This post “touched” me, as I can see my son in you…his wedding, set in December, was cancelled because of religion. We are Catholics, although my son does not go to Church every week, and my son’s ex-wife-to be is a Born Again Christian. He really loved her, to the point that he agreed on a Christian wedding to be held in a beach, with her dogs in attendance! He was even willing to let her raise their future kids in the way she wants. They were a couple for 4 years with their different religions not making any difference in their relationship. But a few months back, the girl suddenly began insisting that she wants a life of ministry once they are married. But my son said it’s not the life he wants; why can’t she respect his religion? In short, they broke up. Last Sunday, after so many years, my son went with us to Church. I wanted to cry, hug him, jump for joy…. I have been praying for so long, hoping that he will go to Mass again. It needed this to happen to make him go to Church again. Whatever the reason, I’m so happy that he knows he can count on God to be there for him, for us, always…these are baby steps for us too…but slowly, surely…we will get there, by the grace of God. Sorry for the long post, Ms. T. Have a good day πŸ™‚

  • Hi Miss Tina! What works for me is to treat any mass, Sunday or any day as a date with the Lord. So I dress up really nice, put make up, fix my hair a little longer than usual, the way I would go on a lunch date or dinner date with a good friend or my husband. That way, part of the gana to go is the dressing up ritual too. Haha. Also, before, when I was single, I had a pre-mass, me-time thing, maybe an hour or two before mass — I have coffee somewhere near the church, snack a little, read a bit. Parang pre-game para I have even more motivation to go to church, and talagang di na sayang ang bihis. Sometimes, we have to also do things to rouse our ‘ganacity’ for church, because it’s so easy to forego to one hour for church. Hope this inspires you as much as it inspired me!

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